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  1. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

  2. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. When he opens the door, he encounters two sheriff's deputies, one of whom asks if he is married and, if so, whether the deputy can see a picture of the wife. The guy says "sure " and shows him a picture of his wife. The...
  3. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

  4. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    A Minnesota farmer named Olie had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: 'Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?" Olie responded: 'vell, I'lla tell you...
  5. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball I can't see where it went." His...
  6. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from...
  7. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Not really a joke, but.... http://www.flixxy.com/bird-flies-onstage-to-join-the-band.htm
  8. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

  9. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    An Arab enters a taxi.......... Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio ...
  10. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the...
  11. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a...
  12. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. She yelled "four" in time, but the ball still hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded...
  13. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he met U.S. General Patraeus. They shook hands. As they walked the Iranian said, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America ." The General...
  14. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."She asks..... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.She smiled...
  15. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Little Johnny All the kids filed into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I sold Girl Scout Cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach...
  16. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he...
  17. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    The Irish Funeral A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man...
  18. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Old Butch John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought...
  19. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band...
  20. Old Salt

    joke of the day.

    Feherty is a Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind...... Probably always on time delay these days. Feherty Quotes: “Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle...