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Dumb Criminal Thread

I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
2,795
Ali said:
LMFAO!I'd rep you but it seems I have to pass it around first.
Drama is hard to convey over the internet.

As I screamed "Nooo!!!", the camera closes in on my face and then spirals upward.
 

Ali

Eschew obfuscation
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
1,848
RoyalOrleans said:
Drama is hard to convey over the internet.As I screamed "Nooo!!!", the camera closes in on my face and then spirals upward.
That made me laugh out loud and bow in reverence to you via my lap top.

A thousand rep points to thee for your hilarity!!!! :D
 
Big Time BS
Joined
Mar 3, 2008
Messages
1,667
Ali said:
That made me laugh out loud and bow in reverence to you via my lap top.A thousand rep points to thee for your hilarity!!!! :D
Oh fuk Ali! Just lick his nuts and get it over with :P
 

Ali

Eschew obfuscation
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
1,848
emkay64 said:
Oh fuk Ali! Just lick his nuts and get it over with :P
I tried, but my tongue couldn't penetrate the flat screen.

Come on, you didn't think that was funny? Would you like a thousand rep points, too? I'll give you some for sucking your finger while the guy in the car next to you was beating his meat at the stop light if it will make you feel better. :D
 
Big Time BS
Joined
Mar 3, 2008
Messages
1,667
Ali said:
I tried, but my tongue couldn't penetrate the flat screen.Come on, you didn't think that was funny? Would you like a thousand rep points, too? I'll give you some for sucking your finger while the guy in the car next to you was beating his meat at the stop light if it will make you feel better. :D
Nope! I don't like pity points! :P
 
I don't like you.
Joined
Aug 27, 2007
Messages
2,125
emkay64 said:
He was ugly...but I sucked my finger while I watched...I think I helped out my fellow man :P
it helped more than you will ever know.

:)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
2,795
Ali said:
That made me laugh out loud and bow in reverence to you via my lap top.A thousand rep points to thee for your hilarity!!!! :D
emkay64 said:
Oh fuk Ali! Just lick his nuts and get it over with :P
Ali said:
I tried, but my tongue couldn't penetrate the flat screen.Come on, you didn't think that was funny? Would you like a thousand rep points, too? I'll give you some for sucking your finger while the guy in the car next to you was beating his meat at the stop light if it will make you feel better. :D
emkay64 said:
Nope! I don't like pity points! :P
Ali said:
LOL! You're such a sh!t. :P
Ladies!

Ladies!

LADIES!

L-A-D-I-E-S!!!

*cough* *cough*

My pants are still up!

*slides them down*

Now...

Resume!

This time with more hair whipping.
 

Ali

Eschew obfuscation
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
1,848
RoyalOrleans said:
Ladies!Ladies!

LADIES!

L-A-D-I-E-S!!!

*cough* *cough*

My pants are still up!

*slides them down*

Now...

Resume!

This time with more hair whipping.
*Nudges emkay*

He called us "ladies". ;)
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Ali said:
*Nudges emkay* He called us "ladies". ;)
I guess RO subscribes to the whole, "Treat the whores like princesses and princesses like whores", philosophy.

.

.

.
 

Ali

Eschew obfuscation
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
1,848
ImWithStupid said:
I guess RO subscribes to the whole, "Treat the whores like princesses and princesses like whores", philosophy..

.

.
A lot of guys do.

I actually do conduct myself like a lady in real life. But here around friends and casual acquaintances I like to slum a bit. :P
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Ali said:
A lot of guys do.I actually do conduct myself like a lady in real life. But here around friends and casual acquaintances I like to slum a bit. :P
In the immortal words of Usher, "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed".

.

.

.
 
I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
2,795
Ali said:
*Nudges emkay* He called us "ladies". ;)
Well...

They called Elenor Roosevelt a "First Lady", but I'm pretty sure she was more of a man than ol' Frank.
 
I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For
Joined
Sep 5, 2007
Messages
2,795
ImWithStupid said:
I guess RO subscribes to the whole, "Treat the whores like princesses and princesses like whores", philosophy..

.

.
Don't guess or assume, IWS.

It's true. It's true.
 

Ali

Eschew obfuscation
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
1,848
ImWithStupid said:
In the immortal words of Usher, "we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed"..

.

.
Yes, that makes sense. There's an appropriate time and place for unleashing the inner perv.
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
FBI: Bank Robber Wrote Note on Check Stub

December 29 2008

Sun-Times Newsgroup

A man was arrested by FBI agents this weekend after he allegedly wrote a bank robbery note on the back of his own check stub.

Thomas Infante allegedly entered a Fifth Third Bank branch, 4017 W. Lawrence Ave., about 6 p.m. Friday approached the counter, and began writing on a piece of paper, according to an FBI affidavit filed Monday.

Infante then handed the teller a note reading, ?Be Quick. Be Quit. Give your cash fast or I?ll shoot,? the affidavit alleges.

The teller complied, giving the robber $397 cash along with a dye pack. The man took the money and fled, leaving the note behind.

After the robbery, the teller gave authorities a description of the man and the demand note was recovered?it was written on the back of a torn paycheck stub made out to Infante, 40.

Investigators linked the man to an address at 4744 N. Harding Ave., just two blocks from the bank, and upon arrival met with his brother, who confirmed Infante was the man in a photograph from the bank?s surveillance camera.

His brother told officials Infante left a brown jacket in the Harding Avenue home and left. The jacket matched the one worn by the robber in surveillance footage.

Authorities caught up with Infante at his home in Cary, where he confessed to the robbery. He was ordered held without bail during a hearing in federal court Monday.
FBI: Bank robber wrote note on check stub :: The SouthtownStar :: News
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Police say masked man waited in line to rob bank

Ohio police say masked man carrying a toy gun waited in line to rob bank

AP Jan 9, 2009

(STOW, Ohio) A man may have tipped his intentions when he stood in line at an Ohio bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. Police in Stow near Akron say 24-year-old Feliks Goldshtein of Highland Heights was arrested minutes later on Thursday following a brief car chase.

Police say the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. At that point the man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and told the teller to give him all the money. He made off with an undisclosed amount.

Police Captain Rick Myers says it's unusual for a masked robber to wait in line at a bank.

Goldshtein was held at the Summit County Jail Friday on charges of aggravated robbery and failure to comply with a police order. Municipal Court records don't identify an attorney for Goldshtein.

Police say masked man waited in line to rob bank | Newsweek News | Newsweek.com
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Robbery suspect turns out to be police applicant

By Greg Gross

Union-Tribune Staff Writer

7:50 p.m. February 27, 2009

CHULA VISTA ? Romeo Montillano wanted to be a Chula Vista police officer.

The Police Department wanted Montillano ? in handcuffs.

Police spokesman Bernard Gonzales said investigators identified Montillano as the suspect in a robbery at the Kmart on East H Street last Dec. 8. Then they learned he was signed up to take the police department's entrance examination two months hence, Gonzales said.

Then, even knowing he was wanted, Montillano showed up to take the test. Eventually.

In the robbery, a man stole a television set, DVD player and telephone from the store, then beat up store employees who confronted him in the parking lot.

Detective Ruth Hinzman telephoned Montillano. He told her he was in Las Vegas, but would be back in about three weeks to take the police exam, Gonzales said.

A skeptical but thorough Hinzman checked with her colleagues to confirm Montillano was signed up for the exam.

He was.

In a second call to Montillano, police Agent Henry Martin asked if he was planning on attending an orientation for police applicants on Feb. 18. Montillano said he would, Gonzales said, but he was a no-show.

End of the story? Not even close.

Montillano called police to apologize for missing the orientation, Gonzales said. He said his vehicle had been impounded in Las Vegas and he was trying to raise the cash to get it back.

At that point, detectives were convinced Montillano would realize he'd be arrested if he showed his face anywhere near police headquarters, and that they were now looking for a fugitive, Gonzales said.

Wrong again.

Five days after the missed orientation, police say the city got an e-mail from Montillano, saying he planned to catch a bus from Las Vegas to San Diego so as not to miss the entrance exam, Gonzales said.

Detectives doubted Montillano would show up, but they made plans to arrest him just in case.

So Hinzman and Martin were waiting at the registration table when one of the police hopefuls walked up and signed in: Romeo Ogilve Montillano.

The officers, momentarily stunned, called Montillano out of the exam room and into a nearby office, where they arrested him, Gonzales said. While he was being busted, Montillano asked two questions.

The first: Would he still be able to take to take the test?

No, he was told, his name was being removed from the list of applicants.

The second: Could he re-apply and maybe take the test later?

Montillano was booked into jail on suspicion of robbery, making criminal threats and grand theft in connection with the Kmart episode, Gonzales said. They later found that Montillano had been arrested in November on suspicion of a misdemeanor theft from another Chula Vista business.

Robbery suspect turns out to be police applicant
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Wis. teen allegedly steals from cars to get money to pay lawyer to defend him on other charges

By Associated Press8:00 PM CDT, April 24, 2009 BELOIT, Wis. (AP) ? A teen allegedly broke into cars to raise money to pay a lawyer to defend him on other charges. A criminal complaint said a resident caught the teen inside his Chevrolet Camaro in his garage about 4:30 a.m. April 16 and tackled him and held him for police.

Officers found a GPS system, nine CDs and seven video games in his backpack. The criminal complaint said he took the items to help pay for a lawyer.

He was charged with felony burglary, possession of burglar tools and bail jumping.

The teen was charged previously with drug possession, disorderly conduct and theft of movable property.

Wis. teen allegedly steals from cars to get money to pay lawyer to defend him on other charges -- chicagotribune.com
 

IWS

Super Moderator
Joined
Sep 21, 2007
Messages
6,164
Video: Pursuit ends on Dallas runwayLove Field Airport was shut down after a truck drove onto an active runway during a police pursuit

Associated Press

DALLAS ? A suspected carjacker led police on an hour-long chase Thursday before crashing through a locked chain-link fence and driving across runways at Dallas Love Field, temporarily halting flights, authorities said.

The afternoon chase ended when police surrounded and rammed a pickup truck alongside a busy runway, pulled the shirtless driver from the cab and placed him in handcuffs.

http://www.policeone.com/suspect-pursuit/articles/2473079-Video-Dallas-chase-ends-on-airport-runway/

 
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